Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
