i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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