She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
