There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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