If that was your dad, he is hot
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
