I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
