Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
