I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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