Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
