just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
