Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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