I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
