he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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