i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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