he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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