The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
