Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
