She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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