so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
