dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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