Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
