btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
