I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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