...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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