absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
