a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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