Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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