Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
