it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
