There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
