It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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