Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
