I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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