WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's shark week go big or go home
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
