Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
