dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
