WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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