i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
