She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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