Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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