Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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