He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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