no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
