the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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