I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
