Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think your dad took our porno
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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