Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
