how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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