the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
