I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
