holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i've created a new STD.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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